Brother Nicholas

I started off by being the guy everyone knew, popular, in other words. I was the funny guy, the class clown. But this is what everyone saw on the outside. On the inside I had a broken heart. I tried to find ways of feeling loved. Every night I laid down and just cried myself to sleep. NO ONE knew this. I always tried to push it deep down. But that pain just let itself it out at night, when I was alone. I always thought no one loved me - even though people always remined me that they love me. I just wanted to feel loved, I looked for this in relationships.
I was now 12 years old, close to meeting Jesus. I thought maybe if I get a girlfriend I could finally be loved. This only caused me more pain and sadness because I saw how fake people were. All I wanted to see was how people hated me and how neglected I was. I NEVER opened up to people. I didn't even trust those who I claimed to trust (which was my uncle) so I didn't know what to do but to start being fake and hide my pain even more. My laughs were fake, my smiles were forced. I felt alone. But then my mum came home baptized, then my dad.
Then I saw Sister Diana, then Brother Max. I saw what Jesus did for them. I wanted to feel that same happiness that they had and what I saw in them. I asked my parents about it and they explained it all. At first my parents forced me to go to first communion. But my heart was not willing at ALL, I really disliked it. Then my Dad and Mum were taught to not force us to believe in Jesus, so they stopped. That is when I made the choice to receive Jesus. I prayed with my Mum and Dad for deliverance. Then Sister Diana came one day and baptized me in water. This was my final moment in the world as a slave to sin.